There is so much mixed emotions and opinions surrounding how needful it is to love and respect others.
People who are always looking for both end up having one or none.
Why is that?
Well, for a fact, love is often shown without any price to be paid from the one who is loved, while respect has to be earned.
How often have you heard a friend or someone else say, “I don’t know why I love him or her because I don’t feel he or she deserves my respect?”
Then comes the often confused notion of lust and love which only a few persons can establish a clear difference between both in the earlier stages of their relationship.
Of which, even after the relationship has over time matured, it still is difficult to clearly understand the difference between sex and love if you are still having sexual intimacy with your partner.
However, respect is due to how you can quickly know when someone is respecting you.
You can feel that that person acknowledges your presence.
It’s not just in hearing nice words because those words have to be backed up with proofs of action.
It’s the acts done that tells you whether you’re being respected or not.
You can’t keep telling someone you want their respect without setting any standard to earn an acknowledgment.
If your boundaries or laid down rules are continually being crossed or disregarded, then you don’t have the regard you so desire.
All the sayings of “I love you” won’t clean off the slate full of the disrespectful experiences you have had, most especially when you know that someone keeps taking advantage of you.
When someone keeps undermining your intelligence or criticizing you without offering a way of fixing the problem, then you know that such a folk wants to express his frustrations but doesn’t respect you well enough to help you in resolving the issue or changing the status quo.
Many times, criticism can be said in such subtle ways that you don’t even realize until a while, after which you could then identify the hurtful part of such critic.
You are only aware that you don’t feel good about yourself, but you just can’t seem to figure out why.
But you can love that person genuinely, and not respect him or her or feel regarded by him or her.
Are your opinions sought after or do you have to keep them to yourself?
Are your opinions held in high esteem in your relationship or are they tossed aside?
When you are in a relationship, an essential part of your union is in the sharing of ideas and plans that involves both of you.
If only one of you is making the majority of the decisions that affect both of you, then you are not being honoured, regardless of whatever reasons your partner gives.
If respect matters more to you more than love, walk away from someone who doesn’t show it with clear actions.
If true love matters more to you than respect, then try to ensure that you are also genuinely loved as well.